Birds Do It
by Kristine1
Summary: Lee's little girl is growing up . . .


Birds Do It . . .  
  
Author: Kristine  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Summary: Lee's little girl is growing up . . .  
  
Disclaimer: Jenny is mine. The other characters belong to Warner Brothers and Shoot the Moon Productions. The book mentioned does exist, but the contents of my version are but a figment of my imagination!  
  
Feedback: Yes, my ESP is on the fritz.  
  
Timeline: Many years after the series ended.  
  
Notes: Thank you to each and every child I've ever looked after. Talk about material!  
  
It had been a quiet weekend, the quietest the Stetson-King household had seen in a long time. The boys were with their father, Dotty was at a weekend literary group, and Amanda was this year's "ringer" at Station One.  
  
After Lee assured a worried Amanda that he could cope, alone, for two days with his eight-year-old daughter, he and Jenny kissed her good-bye and promised to be good.  
  
Now Lee was really enjoying spending extra time with Jenny. 'I've got this father-daughter thing down pat,' he thought smugly. He sipped his coffee and glanced up from the Washington Post Weekender. Yes, Jenny was still busily mothering her little tribe of dolls.  
  
She paused midway through a vigorous hair-brushing of her favorite Cabbage Patch doll. After studying him quietly, she broke the Sunday silence. "Daddy, do you like babies?"  
  
"Sure." He took another mouthful of coffee.  
  
"So you don't like sex, then?"  
  
Lee put down the paper, its print now unreadable due to the coffee he just sputtered over it. "Wh-hh-h, what makes you say that, sweetheart?"  
  
"Well, Lucy's mom is having a baby," Jenny said, seemingly oblivious to her father's near coronary.  
  
"So . . . ?" *By now I should be used to being totally lost in conversations with my girls.*  
  
"The book Mommy gave me said a woman gets pregnant by having sex. I don't have any little brothers or sisters, so if you like babies, it must be the sex you don't like."  
  
Lee wondered how this earth-shattering conversation could be held with such amazing calmness. Jenny's part of it, at least. Her hazel eyes held curiosity but remained strangely placid.  
  
His own eyes, he was sure, were bugging out of his head. He tried to assume the nonchalant expression he used in easier situations. Like being questioned by the KGB.  
  
"Hey, listen, could I see this book a minute?" With shaking hands, he tried to mop up the mess on the kitchen counter.  
  
"Sure, it's in my room."  
  
Lee watched as she skipped over to the staircase.  
  
*She looks the same.*  
  
*Same brown curls, same hazel eyes.*  
  
*Yeah, and now she's questioning my sex life.*  
  
Seems some changes weren't entirely cosmetic.  
  
Her return interrupted his musings. So did the appearance of THE BOOK (as Lee would always refer to it when speaking of this in the future).  
  
It looked innocent enough. A smiling little girl's face, drawn on the blue cover.  
  
The title, however, made his heart skip a beat. "Where Did I Come From?"  
  
A vague memory swam to the forefront of his mind. Amanda, telling him something over a late lunch last week at Emilio's.  
  
Something about Jenny having questions, and that it was perfectly normal for her age.  
  
If he'd known he'd be in this situation, he'd have listened, he swore. Listened and taken detailed notes.  
  
The more he skimmed the pages, the worse it got. He admitted defeat when his eyes focused on one particular illustration.  
  
*Dear Lord, sperm with smiley faces!*  
  
Closing the book quickly—but far too late, in his opinion—he looked his little interrogator straight in the face. "When a mommy and a daddy love each other, they can have, err, umm . . ."  
  
"Sex," a little voice piped up.  
  
"Yeah, they can have, um, that," Lee finished lamely.  
  
"Uh-huh."  
  
"But sex . . ." *Breathe, damn it!* "Sex doesn't always have to mean babies."  
  
"It doesn't always make babies?" She sounded incredulous.  
  
Lee shook his head and mentally calculated the number of women who had once graced, if not his life, at least his bed.  
  
*Shit, I hope not!*  
  
Jenny was looking at him thoughtfully. "Then why do it, if you don't end up with a baby every time?"  
  
*Because the world's health care systems couldn't cope with that many blind men all at once.*  
  
Instead of voicing this aloud, he chose his next words carefully. "Mommies and daddies like to be happy, so they do things that are nice." Sending up a silent prayer to the inventor of latex, Lee decided to push on. "All clear now, pumpkin?"  
  
*Please, God, let this be the end!*  
  
"It looks kinda hard. You must have to practice, like me with my fractions."  
  
That did it. Lee made the best decision he'd made all day. He stood up and loudly cleared his throat. "Come on, if we're going to Chuckie Cheese, we need to get a move on!"  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Two Weeks Later,  
  
Rockdale Elementary School  
  
"She said it was your idea, Mr. Stetson."  
  
"I really don't understand what you mean, Mrs. Chapman." Lee smiled, hoping to convince the wizened schoolteacher of his innocence.  
  
"She brought that sex education book to school, Mr. Stetson, and offered to answer any questions her friends might have."  
  
Lee studied his fingernails intently.  
  
"The boys are fascinated about what boys can do, and the girls . . . well, little Caitlin O'Neill will never be the same again, I'm afraid."  
  
He coughed, hoping she wouldn't tell him more about Caitlin.  
  
The teacher glared at the squirming agent through her chunky bifocals. "Did you really tell her it feels nice and to practice lots?"  
  
Amid Amanda's loud peals of laughter, he reminded himself once more, 'It had all been going so well . . .'  
  
THE END 


End file.
